My Trip To See The Psychiatrist

Well, she was gone for quite awhile & when she finally came back she said, “Would you be willing to go to George Town & talk to a psychiatrist up there?” I said, “I don’t know, I really don’t want to drive all the way up there.” “Well, maybe Margaret could dive you up there & you all could follow me in my vehicle, we’ll just go up there & talk to someone.” “Well I guess so, what do you think Margaret?” “Yea, I could take you up there, but first I have to call my husband & let him know I won’t be home until later.” Margaret calls her husband & Joan goes out in the front room to make another phone call again. So on our way to George Town to see some shrink, boy I didn’t know what I was getting into. We pulled into the parking lot of this hospital called, Sunny Side, I said, “Margaret, I’m not going to be leaving here!!!!!”She said, “What, yes you are, what are you talking about?” “I know someone who came here & ended up staying here, they are going to keep me here, I just know it.” “They can’t do that,” Margaret said. “We’ll see,” I told her. We went up to the front door with Joan & we got buzzed in & walked into a fairly large room with a large table, there were 3 people at the table, then Joan, Margaret & I sat down & soon the psychiatrist came in. He introduced himself as Dr. Roberts. I said, “Hi.” He said, “Do you know why you’re here?” “No!” I said. He said, “I heard that you wanted to kill yourself?” “No, it’s just talk.” He said, “But you have a gun at home, what do you plan on doing with it?” “I’m not going to kill myself, it’s just talk (liar) I just want to go home.” “Well I think maybe you should stay here a couple of days & get evaluated.” “I don’t think so. I have 2 jobs, I work at the Water District & I mow lawns on the side, & doing the lawns it’s just me & another guy & I couldn’t just leave him to do it all by himself, plus my jeep is in New Haven at Joan’s office.” “Well your jobs will be there when you get out, it will only be a couple of days.” “NO, I can’t leave my jobs, YOU DON’T understand!!!!!” I said very angry. He said, “What do you think Margaret, do you think she should stay?” “Well, she’s pretty angry, I don’t know if she should stay or not.” It would be for her own good, believe me!” “You can’t keep me in this fucken place!!!!” I got up, walked toward the door & opened it, cuz I thought I was going to be able to make a bee-line to the front door. Boy, was I wrong.

The Therapy Session

So here I go my boss & I on our way back to “The Room”. She said, “Hi, I’m Joan.” I said hi. She asked, “So what brings you here tonight.” It was 7:00 at night. I said, “My boss, Margaret, made me come here.” “And why did she make you come here?” “Because my job, my life & whatever else is just going downhill.” “Why is it going downhill?” “I don’t know, I’m just unhappy with everything, I hate my boyfriend & I hate myself.” “Why do you hate yourself?” “I hate my body & my boyfriend touching me. I don’t want anyone touching me.” She asked, “Have you ever been sexually abused?” “WHY?” I said very loudly. “Because you sound like someone who has been sexually abused.” “Maybe,” I said. “Who did this to you?” I said, “My father did some stuff to me and stuff like that & I DO NOT want to talk about it!!!!!” Margaret starts to cry. I said to her, “Why are you crying, if you are crying over me please don’t, because I’m not worth crying over.” Margaret says, “That’s not true you are worth it, & I’m sorry I never knew that your father sexually abused you.” Joan asked, “Why don’t you think you’re not worth it?” “Because I’m an idiot, I’m stupid, I’m dumb, I’m a jerk & an over all fuck up, I just want to end my life, I don’t want to live anymore, my life is worthless.” Joan says, “Do you have a plan?” I said, “Well, I went to the Stationary Store & bought a Will & my boyfriend has a gun at home.” Joan says, “That’s where you live with your boyfriend & he has a gun in the house that you can get to?” “Yes”, I said. Joan said, Excuse me for a minute I’ll be right back.”