Withdrawals

Then things started going down hill again & I tried to kill myself by slitting my wrist. They put me back in the hospital in George Town. I was there for a month. I was so drugged up & they sent me to a hospital up in Bentley . I don’t even remember going up there, I was so drugged up. I had to be interviewed to go into this hospital & the first time they denied me, because I was so unstable. But they put me on more meds & then I had another interview & they excepted me. But I don’t remember none of it.


While I was in Bentley hospital I was on 32 different medications, when I got there & they took me off of all of them except for one pill. Which was making me throw-up. So I pretended to take it & flushed it down the toilet. I was going through withdrawals horribly. I couldn’t eat for two weeks. The smell of food made me throw-up. My Aunt sent me these 2 really mini, mini loaves of Banana bread, I would eat like a couple of pieces a day, I was able to keep them down. All night when I tried to sleep I just shook & trembled so bad that I was not hardly able to sleep at all. This went on for about 2 ½ weeks. I’ve never been through anything more terrible than that in my life. I’ve seen things & heard things & all that crap & I’d rather go through all that then ever have to go through that kind of withdrawal again. NEVER!!!

No words could explain how horrible it was. It had to be something like heroin withdrawals, it was that bad. But I never let anyone know what I was going through, how they couldn’t tell something was wrong, I don’t know. They were surly blind. Not to see me shaking or hear me throwing-up all the time. One day I went to the doctor & told him I wanted a court order to get out of the hospital, he said, all you had to do was ask to get out, you are doing great & have done a complete turn around. So I went home in a couple of days.

It’s strange how we can remember so many of the bad things that happen to us & not remember as much of the good things. SAD!!!!