Quitting Fire Fighting & EMT

One day I was working at the Fire Station & we were on a call & I was doing CPR on a woman & the voices in my head told me to kill her. I panicked & told someone to take over. When we got back to the Fire Station I got my Bunker gear & left the Fire Station for good. The captain asked me to come back & work, but I couldn't, it terrified me. Then I started to go to a day treatment group in Highland, like a drop-in center. I just loved it. I got off some of the meds that I was on & we were in a group session one day & the meds that they took me off of were finally out of my system & you couldn't shut me up. I kept apologizing to everyone. But I finally felt free, because I was on so many meds. Now I was just on a few. And it felt soooooo good. Once I was at the drop-in center & I started a new med, & I started it at the drop-in center, Big mistake. On my way home & I was so paranoid I could hardly drive. I thought everyone was staring at me & I was stiff as a board. I got home & my neighbor come over & I thought he wanted to kill me & I was watching a program on t.v. & I thought the audience was laughing. It was awful. It just had me on a too high of the dose of the med.