Satanism

Let me back up a bit. Before I went into the hospital the first time I started to get into Satanism. I had a satanic Bible. At first I just took it as a joke. Then I read it again & took it a little more seriously. When Ben, my boyfriend that I lived with, was gone away surveying during the week, I would set up an altar & put up candles & a sword that Ben had & I had a chalice, which I'd cut myself & bleed into it & say a prayer in Satan's name & drink the blood.